For your amusement only - no inference is made or intended !

why oh why do we have to be so careful ?

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills !

Some are absolutely true !
=================================  
Tech support:   What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer:   A white one...
===============
 
Customer:   Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support:  Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer:  Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer:  No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry....
===============

Tech support:  Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:  Your left or my left?
===============

 
Tech support:  The web site is now asking what sort of credit card do you have ?

Customer:  a plastic one !
===============

Tech support:  Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer:   Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start"  for me and.
Customer:  Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
===============

Customer:  Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.

Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. 

I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,

but the computer still says he can't find it...
============== =

Customer:  I have problems printing in red...
Tech support:  Do you have a color printer?
Customer:  Aaaah...................thank you.
===============

Tech support:  What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:   A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
===============

Customer:   My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:  No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:!   OK
Tech support:   Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer:  Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work....
===============

Tech support:   Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer:  Is that 7 in capital letters ?
===============

Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:  Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:  Five stars.
===============

Tech support:   What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:  Netscape.
Tech support:  That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:  Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============

Customer:   I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer:  I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support:  OK,  and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:  Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
 
 

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:  Are you running it under windows?
Customer:  "No, my desk is next to the door, hi.  The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his  printer is working fine."
===============

And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer:  I don't have a P.
Tech support:  On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:   What do you mean?
Tech support:  "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

-----------------------

and finally...if you have difficulty contacting us we've moved our support based overseas because the IT infrastructure is so much better